She dreams of escaping. Of vanishing to a faraway land. Where fairies and gnomes rule the earth, where flying isnt merely a fantasy. For where the forgotten find solace, and where its home for the lost. The haven where tears are merely a prelude to rain, the hideaway abode.

Even if it's merely a fleeting crush, back to top?

back to top?

Because amidst the lies and doubts, back to top?

It's times like this, back to top?

I know i love you, back to top?

Everything feels strange. back to top?

It's the little things that are so unsettling, back to top?

Because this is how we're going to be. In the past, the present and forever to come. back to top?

I have officially matriculated and had my medical checkup! The medical checkup was scary initially because i thought they were going to take my blood. *oh my precious blood* but they didnt need to so thank goodness. back to top?

It's when you look through the past and reminisce about those fleeting moments,
back to top?

YOU ANNOY ME BIGTIME. & I SERIOUSLY DONT KNOW HOW IM EVER GONNA TREAT YOU WITH RESPECT, oh wait, i forgot, you dont deserve it. back to top?

Until today, despite me having already decided that smu accountancy is going to be the place i want to study at, i have yet to muster enough courage to accept that offer and reject the rest. Sighs, and another part of me wants to go to nus because my lovelies will be there. I shall just procrastinate and procrastinate until the very last day. back to top?

Linger in my thoughts, back to top?

All the while, i thought i was all set on going ntu, but when i received the loa from nus yesterday, my mind went into overdrive. It was like all of a sudden going to ntu didn't seem so attractive anymore. & by the way, the package that nus sent totally owned ntu's one piece of paper. Argh, and especially if k's going to nus as well, that would totally make me wanna go nus simply because i cannot imagine life without her.
back to top?

Last night i had a dream about you. back to top?

Yesterday was amazingly awesome! It was time well spent at sakura with sheryl, melissa, junhao and of course my beloved kiesha. HAHAHA. Because sheryl told us that junhao was feeling a little blue so we wrote him a nice note of all his good points! Miss melissa key's laughter is OMG madness!! & goodness, there was so much food, food & FOOD! The amount of la la we took was i think enough to feed four families! It was really a wonderful night with the 'singles'. back to top?

It's really amazing how perspective and prejudice can make so much of a difference.
back to top?

Perhaps i used to question the reasons why you chose to cling on so tightly, back to top?

walk away, back to top?

In an attempt to revive my blog, i've done some major revamps! Tadah! MUAHAHAHAHA. back to top?

I have not posted in ages mainly due to my laziness, but anyway, im back. MUAHAHAHA. back to top?

Alright, this place is dusty. I know. Hahas. Since im feeling bored, im here to revive it. It wont be alive for long though, HA!, since im leaving for US on sat. Yay! I've been so bored after ver and k left for their respective holidays and i've practically been rotting at home. I received a message from k and i was like OMG when i saw it. HAHA. I was so freaking glad to see it and the snow in the picture looked totally fab. Makes me anticipate my own holiday more. Anyway, i shall just post up some pictures from prom.



back to top?

How can it be so void,
that it seems like anyone will do? back to top?

So tempted to ask,
for the sake of knowing,
and to get my mind off it.

Damn, i need some sleep. back to top?

Over and over again,
we find ourselves lost and empty.
The memories we cant let go of,
and new wounds that materialise.

Talking to you makes me wonder a lot,
it seems we really are like two peas in a pod.
And i like that you understand. back to top?

Focus, breathe nicole breathe.
4 months, 4 freaking months.
Fuck a levels. back to top?

I feel sad, worried and thankful, all at the same time.
I avoid because im afraid of changes,
because i like holding on to all the beautiful things that had happened.
I fear changes, because what has yet to happen is unpredictable.
But because of that, i always hurt the people i least want to.
Argh, what's wrong with me. back to top?

Okay, i know i havent been updating in a long long time, so here i am.
Last friday was really exciting cause the greys minus shilin went to kiesha's place for a sleepover. We played more boardgames than i usually would in a year! When we played game of life, the life i had in the game was bloody chaotic. Like initially i was a lawyer turned salesperson turned entertainer who has 2 kids and adopted 2 more. So k's brother said it was like madonna. Lols. The final dare from the truth or dare jenga was hilarious. And like who plays jenga at 2am in the morning?! LOL. We slept at 3 and k's younger brother walked into the room at 10 screaming 'wake up!!! I have tuition at 11!!!'. And the first thing i thought when i opened my eyes was 'kiesha has tuition at 11?!', cause i wasnt wearing my specs and so i thought that the person standing at the door was k. lol. Well that was before i realised she was still lying next to me.

We've also finally gotten back our pw stuff, like the comments and submitted work. Although i already knew we got an a, but it was still nice to read the marker's praises.

Yay, its a decent post! back to top?

The emotions i never thought i would feel. back to top?

I feel so lost whenever you say something like that.
Its makes me think and think and think so much that i end up frustrated.
The person you are makes me question the things i do and say, so much so it becomes pointless for me to even bother. back to top?

I like this picture. Has a nice comfortable feel to it. I like how the background's all dark and the only thing you see is us. back to top?

And btw, the new dessert shop near the yoghurt shop in hub is good. The mango with sago&pomelo's really sweet but really good.
Thank you jiayi for the letter. (:

back to top?

Okay. Im officially 18. Boo. I feel old.
Went out with the greys on mon to celebrate at fish&co the glasshouse. They just had to make me so embarrassed, i almost had to stand on a chair while they sang the birthday song. Thank goodness i was wearing a skirt. Yay, saved by the skirt.
Yes, but im touched, thanks lovelies. Although the pictures are on woon baboon's blog, but i shall just post some.

back to top?

Roar! Its so warm today that i used ate up 4 trays of ice cubes. AHHH! Like ice cubes with my soybean, ice cubes with my water, ice cubes with my milk, ice cubes with practically everything! Damn i feel so sleepy but its SO warm!

A secret to be kept, forever if possible. back to top?

Its weird how it seems so easy to hold on to the things that tear you apart,
and so trying to look past the pain and embrace the beauty of it. back to top?

Yeah, maybe i dont understand.
But the bottom line is that i have no intention to.
I dont like being dragged along with your emotions,
just spare me the drama would you.
I dont need to know. back to top?

Its 2nd of june.
Shit. back to top?

Now tell me, which part of that statement do you not understand?
Are you freaking retarded or something?
Basically, i DONT care.
Cause my life's fucked up enough and i dont wanna give a shit about yours.
Are you like testing my patience or something? back to top?

Gp exam was today. It was okay i guess. But i kinda regret doing the question i did. Lets put it this way, im always scared for my essay. Im so afraid of writing out of point. But oh well, its over.
Why are you being so bloody arrogant? Why are you being so childish? Freaking aa. back to top?

You? Dont make me laugh. You, out of so many people, have no bloody right to say that.
Dont be so full of yourself, cause its annoying.
Dont preach your little theories at me, cause you aint any saint yourself. back to top?

Empty.
It feels comforting to know im not alone.
Someone who knows exactly how it feels.
The little worries and the premature thoughts.
Empty, fill the gaps. back to top?

But why do i have to?
Who are you?
I hate it when you behave like its a must for me.
Grow up, stop being a kid.
You need attention, want attention, yeah, but here's not the place.
Stop making it seem like i have an obligation towards you, cause i dont.
I dont need to, dont want to and dont have to. back to top?

Yesterday was our syf. I guess the dance went well, well considering the amount of effort put in. On the stage, the were no thoughts of getting a gold or whatsoever. It was like i just wanted to get it over and done with. Vastly different from when we were doing 'set-me-free'. The passion we had for it and the dedication, sweat and euphoria from that dance, i didnt feel yesterday. Rather i felt kinda sad that the last dance in jc had to be a dance like this, one that i felt nothing for. When i saw the drive and pride of the other schools, i thought of 'set-me-free'. That sense of pride was what we didnt have. I felt so unhappy that i didnt love what i was doing. When they announced the results, i didnt feel anything much. No anticipations, no disappointments. For these past few months, yeah, a silver's great.
I miss mf dance, i miss dancing with mf dancers, i miss ms chua, i miss set-me-free. back to top?

Got pw results on thurs. Thankfully it was an A. All the hard work and effort paid off i guess. We did it, NY071. back to top?

Omg, i cant believe it, i think i got a gold for napfa. The first time i got it was at the first napfa in p4, and i never got it again until this yr. LOL. Gold for the first and last napfa.
What if we never realised that the one he was talking about is you? back to top?

The strength and courage to hang on slowly peel away.
And whats left is the uncertainty hidden within.
Where inside is a whole lot of contradictions.
What exactly am i afraid of?
Because i live in my own world, because no one will understand. back to top?

Forget it, stupid outburst.
We're all different,
but that doesnt mean we dont need a little love once in a while.
Affection versus malice. back to top?

back to top?

This is life.
Face up to it and stop being a fag. back to top?

I got a big fat C for chinese. Boo. I was hoping for a B but oh wells. The funny thing was that oral got a distinction, it means that my main paper really sucked. If i did badly for oral, i would have prob ended up with a D. LOL.
Sometimes, its all we need to feel blessed. back to top?

I miss my youth,
i think i haven had enough.
I dont want to grow up,
im not ready to. back to top?

What am i doing here when there's block tests tmr. BOO.
Wake up nicole.
Go study.

Happy birthday eddie gan. back to top?

I dont regret, i just wonder. A lot. back to top?

I see no point in trying so hard to make my tomorrow beautiful.
We often question the purpose of life, and it seems i cant find mine.
To life for myself they say, but what is it i want?
Tell me, what can i live for? back to top?

Im a lucky kid. I know.
But sometimes, its more that just that.
I dont need all the fancy things in the world,
cause there's only so much i can use.
The little surprises and effort put in,
thats what we really need.
Once upon a time. back to top?

When we were young,
things were so simple.
When something made us happy,
we laughed.
When we felt hurt or pain,
we cried.

But now,
its just not the same.
A little lost. back to top?

I stop trying. back to top?

back to top?

Some photos from steamboat at ver's place.

Reminiscence. back to top?

Fairydust. back to top?